Steve is struggling at work. Not *with* the work, but with feeling like he's needed. His team had slowly been breaking apart during the last part of the year and there are only a couple of people left with rumors that his team leader might bow out soon, too. He's never felt like his team does a job that no one else can do, and he's never felt like he's improving lives or even reaching the "end guy" even though he's on the communications team. So he's been very introspective all week (the whole manly mind cave sort of thing). He's got to figure out if he wants to stay with Oracle or move to a different company/career.
I've been suffering post-holidays depression because I ate far too much wheat and sugar and did far too little exercise for my body to not protest. Today it finally feels like all that is working its way out of my system and I'm coming out of the blahs. It helps that I ate fairly healthy and exercised as much as I could this week (which was still only 3 days, but it's way better than none). I've also been struggling to figure out what I want to do with myself. I've been getting a lot of joy out of creating things (bows and mermaids and hats and barbie clothes and notecards recently), but that's not something that I can really make money off of, and even if I could, I'd probably be making about $3 an hour. Plus, if I could get more efficient so I could make more money at doing crafts, the creativity would likely plummet, taking the joy out of it. So crafting is fun, but it doesn't provide much value for the family past saving a bit of money using a lot of my time. I've been writing for 9 years now and I enjoy that as well. But so far, I've earned exactly $50 and spent over $1000 (going to conferences, entering contests, etc.) so it's definitely not a lucrative hobby either. It pays even less than crafting! ;) And the more I do it, the less I'm sure that I'm up for the marketing aspect of being an author. So do I go back to teaching? Do I just craft and write for fun in my free time? Do I push away my fears and continue to try to publish? Do I risk having another baby at my age so I have something that demands my time again? (That makes parenthood sound lovely, doesn't it?) I've been trying to figure all that out this week, too.
So Steve and I have been complete joys to be around. *Not.*
The writing conference I go to every year is doing an instagram challenge this year. I've participated a couple of days:
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| Day 2 #storymakers18 #igchallenge : word for this year. I feel like the word "care" is going to play an important role in my life this year. I feel a push to care about and serve individuals I come in contact with this year. I want to make sure I make time to take care of myself. I need to figure out what exactly I care about so I can make and achieve goals that will bring satisfaction, joy, and a feeling of accomplishment to my life. I need to take care to balance my desires with those of my spouse and children. I may have taken this theme too far, but I don't care. Bahaha. I slay me. |
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| Day 4 #storymakers18 #igchallenge : writing space. I use a laptop because my brain works best when I'm comfy. This is my usual spot, and my usual companion, but my bed, the benches at the kids' gymnastics place, the in-laws front room couch, or the splash pad, are not out of the running. |
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| I just found this story Mira wrote. Translation below. | Page 1: The Book of Mermaid Diary. Hi I am Ella. Once I went to a party. | Page 2: And then I turned into a mermaid again. And then I went to the ocean and I was safe. | Page 3: I like to swim. I like a moon [?]. Like my story? YES / NO ! | Page 4: I like you. The end. |
Monday we just had a lazy day. I had doctor appointments on Tuesday and Thursday (naturopath to get some blood tests done to see if my supplements are working/needed, and my yearly checkup) and I had bloodwork done on Wednesday. The kids had gymnastics Wednesday. Friday, I went to the temple in the afternoon and Mira got the Stand Strong student award at school. Steve worked from home so he could go to the assembly. I always appreciate when her positive qualities get recognized by others. It makes it seem more real than when we or grandparents say it.
Steve and I are entering a video contest for the writing contest, too. I'm excited to show you the end result next week. Stay tuned!
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